Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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