pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
