I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
