Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
