The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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