remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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