Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You just made me feel so damn special
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
