Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
