Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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