wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
