i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
