Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
