If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
