is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
