yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
