OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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