You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
