Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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