Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
