shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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