They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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