I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize