And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Randomize
