I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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