How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
