Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
