I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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