If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
