sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
