everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
