I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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