A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
