stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize