I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
