you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
