I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
