somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize