Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
