no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
