i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
