I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you had me at cake vodka
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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