He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
