Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
