i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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