I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
