all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
