I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
