Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
