come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Farmville is her only friend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize