Kiss
Puke
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
True strength comes from lack of pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
