Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
