I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
