Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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