respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
