Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
