It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
