Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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