Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I enjoy the company of your penis
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
