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apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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