Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
