Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The Olympian is in my bed
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