I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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