she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
