I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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