Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
whose parrot is this?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
