Sponge bath it is.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
