She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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